4

Defining factors:

1. My two best friends. Stephanie Oula ( left ) and Dessi Sevdina ( right ). If I was ever for some reason to doubt the existence of a higher power, I would just have to look at them and realize that a relationship so perfect could not exist without devine intervention. My edgy, self-centered, vain, extremely intelligent, uniquely beauiful, obviously pretty, pretentious, cynical, critical, aggressive, compassionate best friends create constant balance in my life. I don't doubt that people search a lifetime for something this perfect, whether it be a romantic connection, or just wonderful like ours.




2. Food. Food is the bitch of my life. Having at one point been 204 pounds ( an exact 70 pounds heavier than I currently am today ), my weight is a constant burden. Yes, the weight loss was all natural ( and currently the greatest accomplishments of my life ).

3. Boys ( or men? maybe someday? ).Throughout being in love, being loved, attempting to find love through someone who is incapable of faithfulness, 48 hour love affairs, and short lived flings with sexually driven burrito makers, I am more so at square one than ever...which is okay. I'm 18.

4. Insecurity. Do other women look at themselves as often as I do? If so, do they like what they see? Is that the reason they can't keep their eyes off of themselves? Because it is certainly not mine. Not always. I glance at myself in every mirror, every window, every slick surface there is. I'm always attempting to find confidence. Without reassurance from someone else.